I have a love-hate relationship with life. I know that I am an incredibly lucky human being. I have a healthy family, a stable home, and a secure day job.; I could ask for little more. Still, far too often I forget how to appreciate all this. I forget when I think I am running late, when I overlook putting wet clothes in the dryer before work, and pretty much any time when I am tired. I get up early to use my fit and able body to run and then feel sorry for myself at four o'clock because I am waiting for my second wind to prepare dinner. I plan 62 things to accomplish in a weekend and then curse the meager 24 hours in a day to get them done. I am always trying to be productve, but am crappy at setting limits. I have great intentions and sometimes nearly kill myself on the follow through. So how can I narrow my scope and focus on a tangible, short-term goal - preferably one that will benefit both me and my family? Enter the least likely of avenues for getting oneself together: Christmas time.
Christmas is generally a period of shop, shop, shop, bake, bake, bake, drink, eat, drink, wrap, wrap wrap for me. But I have a four- and a five-year-old who are experiencing all the innocent magic and effortlessly suspended disbelief that I once knew and will never be able to conjure up again in my own lifetime. I decided to watch my life this holiday season like it were a movie. I want to see it through a viewer's eyes; to critique my own character and file all the sweet and ridiculous plots that my kids lay out into permanent memory. Not an easy task for someone like me who struggles with patience and forebearance. But I think that for the next 24 days I can do it. It will be like a three and a half-week training plan, but instead of improving my running, I will imrove my presence.
And just maybe I will be able to take that new habit with me into the new year. A love-love life relationship? That is someting worth focusing on.
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